What my political platform would be if I were to run for office

I was reading a recent New York Times article about how the GOP candidates are trying to hone their political platform on immigration. These guys (and Democrats do this, too) tip-toe around the right word or idea, sometimes highlighting the fact that they are more conservative than the other candidate. McCain is an easy target since he co-sponsored a bill with - gasp! - Ted Kennedy. So silly. Why not just be honest?

Consequently, I had a quick chat with my friend Walt (a.k.a., tokydiablo; a.k.a., countertrend), about what our political platform would look like:

[14:22] dr122372: dude if you or i would run for govt office, our platform would be the first of its kind, it terms of unabashed liberalness
[14:22] tokyodiablo: yeah
[14:22] tokyodiablo: more left than chavez?
[14:22] dr122372: hell yes...
[14:22] dr122372: Chavez is populist, really
[14:22] tokyodiablo: govt take over of all mcdonalds and catholic churches
[14:22] tokyodiablo: liberal how?
[14:23] dr122372: you are ctholic
[14:23] tokyodiablo: only gays in the military?
[14:23] dr122372: you cant be trusted with the takeover
[14:23] tokyodiablo: only gay marriage?
[14:23] dr122372: yes only gays
[14:23] tokyodiablo: 99% taxation?
[14:23] dr122372: 89.99
[14:23] dr122372: give em a bone
[14:24] dr122372: citizenship to whomever can walk/swim/run/climb over/fly into country
[14:24] dr122372: JOL
[14:24] dr122372: I am blogging this
[14:24] tokyodiablo: ok
[14:25] tokyodiablo: confiscation of all guns?
[14:25] dr122372: No, not that
[14:25] tokyodiablo: grover norquist declaired enemy combatant with geneva protestions
[14:25] dr122372: i am pro-ownership actually
[14:27] dr122372: You can't have a revolution with essays on post-modernism
[14:27] tokyodiablo: ok
[14:28] dr122372: although talking about Lyotard ad nauseum would kill a million fat-cat capitalists in one fell swoop