ALT - [f r a m e s]

Old school photography trumps High Definition any day of the week.

2009-02-18T22:29:00.004-05:00

High Definition television is the next big thing?

Bullshit.

Check out this huge Library of Congress Flickr set of color transparencies from the 1930s and 1940s. It is - without a doubt - my new favorite go-to site: so many interesting images to peruse.

Everything is better when you D.I.Y.

2008-12-29T15:34:00.001-05:00

Watch and learn.

On the "Death Map," Or How to Make an Ugly-Ass Map

2008-12-18T08:47:00.003-05:00

If you have been diligently reading online news websites, you have undoubtedly seen a story about the supposed "Death Map."

According to researchers at the University of South Carolina and something called "BioMed Central," the Death Map shows that heat (and cold) is far more likely to kill someone than, say, flooding or an earthquake. Therefore, local and State governments (especially in the East and Mid-West) should focus resources on providing some sort of aid during the summer and winter months. As for the West coast, perhaps it would be more beneficial to understand the effects of extreme weather conditions on the ground (soil erosion, landslides, etc.), than spend billions of dollars on retro-fitting every small town and unincorporated area up and down the Pacific for the possible earthquake that may never (in our lifetime) come.

The problem with the Death Map is the design, however. You'll notice that the United States is divided up into vast regions. These are Environmental Protection Agency regions, arbitrarily designed for administrative purposes, not for monitoring or measuring the work done by it. There is nothing inherently relevant about using this region map for the purposes of defining rates and reasons for death. Consequently, the mostly fertile valleys of California are conflated with the largely vast and arid Southwest.

Another problem with the map is the reasons for death. What does "Severe Weather" mean? How is a "Tornado" or "Winter Weather" not part of "Severe Weather"? And why is "Lightening" so frighteningly likely in the Greater Southeast? The definition of the "Lightening" class must be much more broad for it to appear on the map; or, lightening really is a danger there.

The worst part of the map is the noise produced by the "Other" category. Sure, you have about an 1/8th of a chance to be killed by lightening in Region IV, but beware of the "Other" (almost 50% likelihood of death): death by car, death by robbery, death by cancer, death by old-age, and a whole host of other mundane deaths. Or perhaps not so mundane deaths: death by PCP fiend, death by auto-erotic asphyxiation, death by Hello Kitty fetishist, or death by Sarah Palin-loving racist. The "Other" category minimizes the impact of the other classes, and should have been removed.

According to the news story, the researchers were two South Carolina geographers: Susan Cutter and her student, Kevin Borden. I am surprised. They should have known better.

Or maybe no one cares about my cartographic elitism...

A Plea to Sarah Palin, by Ian Gurvitz

2008-11-14T13:06:00.001-05:00

PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP, SARAH PALIN! SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU'RE NOT QUALIFIED TO RUN FOR THE PRESIDENCY, NOW, OR FOUR YEARS FROM NOW! YOU WERE A CAMPAIGN GIMMICK. A HAIL MARY PASS BY A LOSING QUARTERBACK! YOU KNOW NOTHING! YOU ARE TOO DUMB TO BE ON THE NATIONAL STAGE! YOU JUST PLAYED JOHNNY MAC'S LADY MACBETH AND IT DIDN'T WORK OUT SO SHUT THE FUCK UP, NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS ON ANYTHING SO SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU ARE NOT WORTHY! YOU LOST THE ELECTION! SHUT THE FUCK UP! GO BACK TO ALASKA AND STAY THERE WITH YOUR IRRITATING FAMILY AND SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! THIS IS YOUR 2-MINUTE WARNING ON YOUR 15 MINUTES OF FAME! YOU'RE DONE! YOU'RE OVER! YOU BLEW THE ELECTION, THANK GOD! YOU'RE IRRELEVANT! SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! NO, REALLY! NOBODY GIVES A SHIT THAT YOU OFFERED YOUR SERVICE TO THE COUNTRY! WE DON'T WANT YOUR SERVICE! WE'VE HAD 8 YEARS OF STUPID AND SMUG AND IT NEARLY RUINED US! WE'RE LOSING ONE GRINNING MEGALOMANIAC, WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER! OBAMA WON! YOU LOST! BECAUSE HE'S MORE QUALIFIED! YOU CANNOT BLUFF YOUR WAY INTO NATIONAL OFFICE, SO TAKE THAT FAKE SMALL-TOWN HUMILITY BULLSHIT AND SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU CANNOT OUTSMART CITY FOLK BECAUSE WE'RE SMARTER THAN YOU SO SHUT THE FUCK UP! GO KILL A MOOSE! FIRE A RELATIVE! HUMP A SNOWPLOW! NOBODY CARES! JUST STAY AWAY FROM THE LOWER 48! YOU LOST! JUST BOW OUT GRACEFULLY AND SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! GOD DOESN'T WANT YOU TO RUN! HE SHUT THE DOOR IN YOUR FACE! TAKE THE FUCKING HINT AND SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE GOVERNOR! IF MOOSE COULD VOTE IN ALASKA YOU'D BE GIVING HAND JOBS TO JOE SIXPACKS BEHIND THE LOCAL DINER! STAY HOME! PAL AROUND WITH TODD AND HIS SECESSIONST PALS! CALL PASTOR MUTHEE AND GET AN EXORCISM! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! GET OFF THE NATIONAL STAGE! TAKE THAT NASALLY FUCKING VOICE AND THAT SELF-SATISFIED SMIRK AND YOUR IDIOTIC REACTIONARY BULLSHIT OPINIONS ABOUT THE REAL AMERICA AND SHUT THE FUCK UP! WE'RE THE REAL AMERICA AND IF YOU REALLY WANT TO SERVE US YOU NEED TO DO NOTHING MORE THAN TO PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

- Ian Gurvitz

My New Favorite Website

2008-11-05T14:24:00.000-05:00

The Boston Globe's "The Big Picture": high resolution photojournalistic essays.

President Obama!

2008-11-05T09:05:00.000-05:00

Let's build a Green New Deal...

In the New Economy, you MUST be able to speak JAVA.

2008-10-16T11:40:00.004-05:00

Comrade Bush

2008-10-16T09:35:00.001-05:00

My friend, Walt, forwarded this news item to me.

Quick! Someone tell McCain that Bush is more of a socialist than Obama!

Palin as President

2008-10-15T06:41:00.002-05:00

Someone has too much time on her hands.

Thank goodness for that...

Is "Renewed Mind" a code word for "Re-education"

2008-09-18T08:16:00.002-05:00

The logical fallacies in this video makes my brain implode.

Maybe I need a "renewed mind."

Or better yet: some black coffee.

Little People - A Tiny Street Art Project

2008-09-17T07:27:00.003-05:00

Source: Little-People.BlogSpot.com/

Slinkachu's fabulous street art is so micro, it's macro. The sheer tiny scale of his artwork adds whimsy, and yet at times a bit of sadness. Scroll down his blog for some truly wonderful macro photography, with great concepts and compositions.

This is Your Nation on White Privilege

2008-09-16T12:59:00.001-05:00

This is Your Nation on White Privilege
By Tim Wise

For those who still can’t grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are constantly looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because “every family has challenges,” even as black and Latino families with similar “challenges” are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a “fuckin’ redneck,” like Bristol Palin’s boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you'll “kick their fuckin' ass,” and talk about how you like to “shoot shit” for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don’t all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you’re “untested.” 

White privilege is being able to say that you support the words “under God” in the pledge of allegiance because “if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it’s good enough for me,” and not be immediately disqualified from holding office--since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the “under God” part wasn’t added until the 1950s--while believing that reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because, ya know, the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), is a dangerous and silly idea only supported by mushy liberals. 

White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you. 

White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto was “Alaska first,” and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you're black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she’s being disrespectful. 

White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you’re being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college--you’re somehow being mean, or even sexist. 

White privilege is being able to convince white women who don’t even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because all of a sudden your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a “second look.” 

White privilege is being able to fire people who didn’t support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt. 

White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God’s punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you’re just a good church-going Christian, but if you’re black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you’re an extremist who probably hates America. 

White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a “trick question,” while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O’Reilly means you’re dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced. 

White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism is, as Sarah Palin has referred to it a “light” burden. 

And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren’t sure about that whole “change” thing. Ya know, it’s just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain… 

White privilege is, in short, the problem.

Sarah Palin makes me LOL

2008-09-03T06:55:00.002-05:00

I really hate hypocrisy. The Republicans excel at it. The Democrats are good, too, but in sheer masterful execution, the Republicans can't be beat.

Case in point: The nomination of this Sarah Palin character for the role of Vice-President.

The Washington Post has a great article out today about how she was hardly vetted by the McCain campaign to see if she was an adequate choice. Her selection process was so hurried (everyone else on the list took months of vetting) that McCain never even met with her face-to-face.

Why the hypocrisy? This is all about appeasing the cynical and brain-damaged Hillary Clinton freaks.

Let's not kid ourselves. Palin's decision is a desperate ploy to get supposedly independent voters for McCain. Cloaking this as if the Republicans actually care about women's social and political advancement is a crock o'shit.

If I BLURB it, will they buy?

2008-08-26T10:54:00.001-05:00

I am ready to make a hand-made BLURB photography book.

But will you guys buy one?

Hello?

Hello?

Is there anybody out there?

I Love Spam

2008-08-21T06:57:00.000-05:00

Thursday, August 21, 2008 12:07 AM
From: "Vapubo Juxatijeh"
Subject: hi

My name Sharney i girl ,im search friend, send me messages Sharney@hardjam.com i send me foto:)

Tony Snow with Cancer, or Max Headroom? You decide...

2008-07-12T10:41:00.002-05:00

The Cato Institute's Wet Dream

2008-06-30T14:05:00.005-05:00

Source: Paleo-Future, 2008.

I'm Voting Republican

2008-06-12T07:26:00.002-05:00

Forwarded to me by my friend, Walt.

Oh...my...god.

2008-05-30T12:37:00.002-05:00

Worst piece of newspaper writing ever printed right here.

WARNING: May cause a brain aneurysm.

Welcome to the Future!

2008-05-29T04:50:00.002-05:00

Welcome to the future, folks! And it ain't pretty!

Think, monkeys and robots. Actually, monkeys controlling robots. And End Times involving monkeys clad in fab leather uniforms engineering robot wars against us poor, pathetic humans.

The Clock is ticking!

Homo Sapiens Cleansing or Bust!

Inbred Much?

2008-05-27T07:19:00.005-05:00

Source: BBC News.

So the Tudors are pretty well-inbred, according to a new lost portrait of Elizabeth I (see above, on the right). All that is missing are a couple of teeth, a banjo, and some hog squealin'.

Yee-haw!

Another example of the "invisible hand" of the free market spanking us on the ass

2008-05-21T06:39:00.003-05:00

This made me laugh out loud.

Moody's, the corporation that ranks the credit ratings of big-time Wall Street borrowers and investors (conflict of interest, anyone?), discovered a "bug" (read as, bad programming) in their computer models used to assess Triple-A Ratings. Moody's gave Triple-A Ratings to any securities product under the sun. Even after discovering the error in early 2007, it took them a whole year to remove Triple-A status to the products.

Another example of the "invisible hand" of the free market spanking us on the ass, perhaps?

Bill O'RlolY

2008-05-19T07:16:00.001-05:00

Don't watch this with your boss or children around.

And the inevitable re-mix!

Deliciously Dialectical

2008-04-24T07:20:00.002-05:00

Today's New York Times article about Indian call centers notifying and assisting Americans on debt issues is so deliciously dialectical and ironic that my head exploded.

I give the United States about twenty years before its imperial economy falls by the wayside.

OMFG TEH POHP!!111

2008-04-16T07:18:00.001-05:00

OMFG TEH POHP!!111
OMFG TEH POHP!!!1!
OMFG TEH POHP!!!111ONEONE!111ONCE!!1

Dear Pope:

Tell Jesu hai ok thnx...

Love,
teh heathen

I am officially a "Surburbanite"

2008-04-07T11:10:00.002-05:00

It's happened. I am a Suburbanite. How so? I crafted a letter to my quasi-fascist Home Owner's Association.

The HOA is trying to make what is called the Architectural Compliance (ACCC) even more authoritative by giving it the power to "automatically" levy fines (without the normal protocol of due process).

See what I wrote:

I want to thank everyone for participating in the discussion on the ACCC. It's interesting that I received so many pro-ACCC responses, and not one response that at least questioned the breadth of the authority given to the ACCC, let alone giving it even more, according to the proposed by-laws.

Let me make something explicitly clear: I don't mean to suggest that I am absolutely against the ACCC. However, after listening to some of my neighbors' experiences with the ACCC, and reading the proposed changes to the By-Laws, I am now VERY concerned as to where the ACCC (and perhaps the community at large) is heading.

I was told to check out surrounding communities to get a better idea as to why the ACCC is needed. So I did. I was told that I was going to "love the ACCC" after seeing Maryland City up close, as well as Adelphi, Langley Park, and some parts of Beltsville. What I saw were fine neighborhoods. There wasn't anything unusual about these homes. Most were normal, working-class ramblers that have sustained middle-class families for two generations. A few added elements to their homes which would not be Kosher in Montpelier, but overall I saw nothing wrong with it. I will not be swayed by this argument, which - to me - sounds a bit classist. Yes, the homes are much more humbly sized when compared to Montpelier's assortment of Colonials, but the communities as a whole are just fine (in that there isn't anything out of the ordinary).

Of course, and not surprisingly, many wondered about what would happen if a neighbor paints her house a gaudy shade of purple or pink, or if someone were to begin investing in chicken farming out of his backyard, and a slew of other largely Chicken Little scenarios. Yes, it is a possibility that someone would paint a house a strange color. Yes, it is possible that someone would pave over more yard than you may prefer. But really: how often does this happen, and how long does it really last? Yes, I was told about the purple house somewhere in our neighborhood (what, 30 years ago?), yet admitted that this was promptly re-painted; interestingly, there wasn't evidence of the ACCC being the executor of this action (perhaps it was shame?). No self-respecting real estate economist (not agent, mind you) would tell you that temporary changes to a home would lead to precipitous drops in home values. At the very worst, in a down market, potential buyers might think otherwise of buying your home when your neighbor paints his house pink, but - again - in a down market you have a lot of other things to worry about other than the temporary nature of your neighbor's choice of color.

One response dealt with the notion of ACCC offering "quality control" of the community. Frankly, quality control should have been applied by the MCA, in general, after the homes were built: insane drainage issues, irrational design of for air circulation, and the nuttiness of first-floor ducting should have been huge red flags when these homes were presented. But that's before my time, and - who knows - maybe Levitt Homes was taken to court.

All of this goes back to my initial comment: it's not that I am against general guidelines, or even rules. It's the micro-managerial way the ACCC oversees its mandate. A response stated that guidelines are a good thing, and I agree. But I ask you, do we want micro-managerial By-Laws. Please read this proposed By-Law (Article X, Section 5: Automatic Fines): "The ACCC shall have the power to automatically levy fines...(b)if there is a complaint from a Member regarding an uncut lawn, [and] (c) If a Member is cited for parking on the grass." Can we not agree that the wording here is very troublesome? What, pray tell, is an "uncut lawn." One week's growth? Two? Six inches? And how soon "after notifying a Member" will these fines accrue? A day? A second? What's worse is the entire notion of how this proposed By-Law is the EXACT ANTITHESIS of the word "community." Not only are we encouraged to spy on neighbors, but I would get a fine because an unknown neighbor thought my front lawn was a bit too shaggy for his or her taste. What made me laugh about this particular proposed By-Law was at how closely it resembles Neighborhood Watch Groups in Havana.

General guidelines are a good thing, but when guidelines become incredibly precise rules (no six-foot fences in my back yard? Why not?), then these lead to confusion and distrust. I have spoken to more than one neighbor who had an adjacent neighbor get a six foot fence without a problem from the ACCC, yet when he or she tried to get one, the ACCC denied the request; the ACCC relented only after much back and forth which left the neighbor angry, suspicious and distrusting of the ACCC. This leads to my most disheartening comment. I was told that all individuals, "regardless of age or gender or ethnic group or disability" must abide by the regulations. That goes without saying, but from what I have heard first-hand, the ACCC executes its authority in a less-than-egalitarian way. Are people of color receiving a disproportionately difficult time in having plans approved, or have them denied outright while others do not have the same problem? That is an incredibly contentious charge, and one I would like to research further.

Clearly, I chose to live in this community. Did I know what I was getting into? Clearly not, and I don't think that that's unusual. I am not content with the notion that the ACCC will be even more powerful than before. This does not bode well for the community. Do you want an active ACCC? Then I suggest we vote NO on the proposed By-Law changes which make the ACCC more authoritative, yet vaguely so. If I am going to get a fine for the length of my lawn, then I want the ACCC to tell me what the maximum height is, and show me by how much I exceeded it with a photo of the volunteer measuring it. This is what I mean by an active ACCC: if they want to micro-manage, let them do so by precisely written rules.

Finally, one person told me that the eradication of the ACCC would mean "free reign of the property." Quite ironic, I thought. I grew up in a largely white, middle-class development (sans HOA) in Rockville. Over the years, it has grown in size, and many Southeast Asian communities have moved in, along with huge amounts of Latinos and African-Americans. What I don't see are chicken coops, paved-over front lawns, gazebos by the driveway, large ("gaudy") images of the Virgin Mary, and other elements that would make the ACCC gasp for air.

Cheers,

Dan

Time to GTFO Jingoists

2008-03-27T14:11:00.003-05:00

If you're a flag-waving, anti-"illegal immigrant" jingoist, and you claim that "those people" are making you pay more in taxes, and somehow make your life that much more difficult, please send me detailed economic analyses of how this is so.

Oh, wait you can't.

You can GTFO now, thanks!

Melding Sharia Law and British Society

2008-02-21T09:29:00.004-05:00

The "On Faith" series in The Washington Post often has interesting commentary (Christopher Hitchens' half-drunken harangues notwithstanding).

There was a particularly interesting commentary by Feisal Abdul Rauf on how integrating aspects of Sharia Law would benefit British society.

I'd suggest you don't read the comments unless you want your brain to implode.

Don't Vote For HITLERy lolol !

2008-02-05T13:10:00.003-05:00

I'd vote for Obama, but I am an unaffiliated voter, and in Maryland you have to be either a Democrat or a Republican to vote in the primaries.

It's 1964 All Over Again

2008-01-09T14:22:00.000-05:00

The news of an "altercation" between Iranian and US Naval forces reminded me of the Gulf of Tonkin Incident.

It's funny/sad that I don't believe anything my own government says.

Despair, anyone?

The funniest video to come out of Iraq

2007-11-30T11:05:00.001-05:00

LOL Iraqis...

This is why I love my wife. . .

2007-11-15T15:58:00.000-05:00

She is honorable and decent, and will jump at the chance of righting wrongs. She despises injustice and will fly in the face of it.

a l t . FRAMES

2007-11-05T07:28:00.001-05:00

The Frame
Originally uploaded by grace*c*

As some of you know, I make picture frames. Well, they're not so much "frames" as they are little works of art enveloping a photograph. I use discarded, antique, and otherwise forgotten media. The one above was commissioned by Cory, and it's an old Erector set, circa 1929.

If you're interested, let me know and we'll talk business (and art).

JULIEANA WILL EAT YOUR FACE!!!!

2007-11-01T05:21:00.000-05:00

OMFG KILLER MINNIE!

. . . At the Gay Bar . . .

2007-10-30T08:10:00.000-05:00

Ethnic Cleansing, American-Style

2007-10-22T07:56:00.000-05:00

Prince William County, a Virginia suburb of Washington, D.C., is making it impossible for illegal immigrants to live there. Crackas and wanna-be crackas believe that Hispanics (they claim illegal ones, but the new rules are so vague it's impossible for a county cop to distinguish between a legal resident, an illegal, and a U.S. citizen except for the Hispanic-sounding surname) are leading to social ills in their precious, manicured county.

If this isn't "ethnic cleansing" a la Américain, then I don't know what is.

Check out the story here.

Just in case you're keeping score...

2007-10-17T09:47:00.000-05:00

From the NY Times:

Childbirth: Position of Woman’s Body Could Ease Delivery
By ERIC NAGOURNEY
Published: October 16, 2007
"Women who go onto their hands and knees while in labor may be able to reduce the pain of childbirth, researchers say."

NEWSFLASH:
The Inuit and other native peoples had been doing it this way for thousands of years before "modern" medicine told them not to because it is "savage" and "inhuman."

Ancient Wisdom 1
Elitist Parochialism 0

It's the opening twirl that makes it.

2007-10-16T08:36:00.000-05:00

Yet Another Example of How Patriarchy and War Go Hand-in-Hand

2007-09-12T07:51:00.000-05:00

Silly Russians. They're even sillier than the Americans. Let's make big, big, big bombs! The Americans' Mother of All Bombs (MOAB) is meant to kill and destroy hundreds of soldiers and tanks at once (as if battlefields even exist anymore). The Russians' Dad of All Bombs is four times more powerful than the Americans'. According to a deputy chief in the Russian military, "it is meant to "protect the nation's security and confront international terrorism in any situation and any region." So when the Chechens take over another theater, instead of gassing everyone to death, the Russians can just blow up the entire town.

I honor those who died by reaming out those who lied.

2007-09-11T06:27:00.000-05:00

Six years ago today, medieval assholes killed many people in the United States. This lead to a subsequent (largely vengeful) killing spree in which even more people - outside of the United States - died. And it led to one of the most counter-intuitive and mind-numbingly anti-intellectual foreign policy initiatives in the history of the modern world.

Goddamn, how I deplore fundamentalism.

By the way, I love Naomi Klein. I need to get her new book, which has a "trailer."

What is Iran?

2007-09-06T15:24:00.000-05:00

My friend Walt passed this along. When you think of Iran, do you envision burqas and loud populists with chips on their shoulders? Too bad, that's the wrong answer.

Check out what Iran truly is, and the implications of war upon their society.

Right Wing Republicanth Are Tho Gay

2007-08-30T13:03:00.001-05:00

Remember the time when anyone who expressed an artistic or a nuanced worldview was considered "gay"?

Now we have people like, Rep. David Dreier, Rep. Mark Foley, and Senator Larry Craig.

Turns out the biggest gays out there are self-hating gays who have horrible politics.

v0cabN@z1, Part II

2007-08-28T10:23:00.000-05:00

Ladies and gentlemen: Introducing Miss Teen South Carolina!

v0cabN@z1

2007-08-27T06:41:00.000-05:00

Hulk Hogan's son was in a serious car wreck on Sunday. Now, you may be thinking: Will Dan blog about the glory days of the World Wrestling Federation, or about driving dangerously and aggressively on our nation's roadways?

First this from CNN:

A high-speed car accident in Florida has left the teenage son of wrestling star Hulk Hogan seriously injured and a companion in critical condition late Sunday, police said. Nick Bollea, 17, was the driver of a Toyota Supra that went out of control while driving at a "high rate of speed" about 7:30 p.m. Sunday, said Wayne Shelor, a spokesman for the Clearwater police in Clearwater, Florida.

The car "inexplicably left the roadway," jumped across a raised median and slammed into a palm tree just east of downtown, Shelor said.

OK. The car was driving at a high rate of speed, and - because of this - jumped the median, and "left the roadway." How is this inexplicable? Mr. Shelor, you just explained it!

If you're going to Vocabulary Land, and you've never been there before, please take a map.

Oh, hell no...

2007-08-23T13:57:00.000-05:00

Friends don't let yuppies furnish your home.

"In Your Yard I am the Ferengi Man"

2007-08-19T12:25:00.001-05:00

Thanks to Allan for the link.

R.I.P. Rex , Or What Happens When You Adopt dozens of Animals When You Have Hoarding Issues

2007-08-16T10:47:00.000-05:00

People with severe OCD kind of make me laugh. You'd think that maintaining a healthy environment is a good thing, until you become a Cleaner. Adopting cats and dogs is admirable until you become a Hoarder.

A Fascist Is a Fascist

2007-08-15T06:56:00.000-05:00

According to the Washington Post, the U.S. has labeled Iran's Revolutionary Guard Corps a "global terrorist" because of "growing involvement" in Afghanistan, Iraq, and other parts of the Middle East.

Who do those Iranians think they are?! The Marines?

The Iranians are to the Middle East what the Marines are to Latin America. Actually, the Marines - along with their shadowy colleagues in the C.I.A. - are much, much worse:

Argentina	1890	Troops	Buenos Aires interests protected
Chile	1891	Troops	Marines clash with nationalist rebels
Haiti	1891	Troops	Black workers revolt on U.S.-claimed Navassa Island defeated
Nicaragua	1894	Troops	Month-long occupation of Bluefields
Panama	1895	Naval, troops	Marines land in Colombian province
Nicaragua	1896	Troops	Marines land in port of Corinto
Cuba	1898-	Naval, troops	Seized from Spain, U.S. still holds Navy base at Guantanamo
Puerto Rico	1898-	Naval, troops	Seized from Spain, occupation continues
Nicaragua	1898	Troops	Marines land at port of San Juan del Sur
Nicaragua	1899	Troops	Marines land at port of Bluefields
Honduras	1903	Troops	Marines intervene in revolution
Dominican Republic	1903-04	Troops	U.S. interests protected in Revolution
Cuba	1906-09	Troops	Marines land in democratic election
Nicaragua	1907	Troops	"Dollar Diplomacy" protectorate set up
Honduras	1907	Troops	Marines land during war with Nicaragua
Panama	1908	Troops	Marines intervene in election contest
Nicaragua	1910	Troops	Marines land in Bluefields and Corinto
Honduras	1911	Troops	U.S. interests protected in civil war
Cuba	1912	Troops	U.S. interests protected in Havana
Panama	1912	Troops	Marines land during heated election
Honduras	1912	Troops	Marines protect U.S. economic interests
Nicaragua	1912-33	Troops, bombing	20-year occupation, fought guerrillas
Mexico	1913	Naval	Americans evacuated during revolution
Dominican Republic	1914	Naval	Fight with rebels over Santo Domingo
Mexico	1914-18	Naval, troops	Series of interventions against nationalists
Haiti	1914-34	Troops, bombing	19-year occupation after revolts
Dominican Republic	1916-24	Troops	8-year Marine occupation
Cuba	1917-33	Troops	Military occupation, economic protectorate
Panama	1918-20	Troops	"Police duty" during unrest after elections
Honduras	1919	Troops	Marines land during election campaign
Guatemala	1920	Troops	2-week intervention against unionists
Costa Rica	1921	Troops
Panama	1921	Troops
Honduras	1924-25	Troops	Landed twice during election strife

Credit: "History of U.S. Interventions in Latin America"

And that's just up to 1925, folks!

A fascist is a fascist: end of story.

Words of Advice from Oprah.com, Or "How to Get Through to a Man"

2007-08-01T07:55:00.000-05:00

Aren't you glad I am here to provide you with insipid news items?

I wonder if people (I guess Oprah disciples, in this case) realize that this is complete crap:

"Men love to show women their tools."

I mean...c'mon.

Birth - School - Work - Death

2007-07-30T10:05:00.000-05:00

I have been tagged by Phantom Kitty and commanded to lay out before you all the essence of my birth, school, work and death - each in one sentence.

Birth: I was born almost 901 years after Robert Guiscard conquered Palermo, and a little over one month after Nixon was re-elected President in a landslide.

School: Archaeologist-cum-international development geographer-cum-Archaeological geographer.

Work: If SAS programming were Ferraris, I would be the Dodi Fayed of the Census Bureau.

Death: "It's no good down here, I can't maneuver!"...Stay on target"..."We're too close!"..."Stay on target"..."Loosen up!"...[here I die in a massive explosion involving lots of Star Wars nerds and other random sci-fi geeks, except for Harry Potter fans - they're just weird.]

I now tag Amy Lee and Porchop.

A Cure For What Ails You, Or How to Chill on a Warm Sunday Evening

2007-07-29T17:06:00.000-05:00

1 oz. chilled Limoncello

1 oz. clear rum

1/4 oz. lemon or lime juice

Smear a lemon edge around the top of the glass, and overturn the glass on sugar. In an ice-filled shaker, shake the lime juice, rum, and limoncello. Pour onto said glass with more ice.

Drink. Repeat, if necessary.

E.R.

2007-07-28T06:06:00.000-05:00

At 11:30pm Thursday evening, my neck muscles began to spasm, along with strikes of pain all along my spinal column and shoulders; I couldn't breathe very well. After slowly standing and stretching I began to control the pain somewhat and the spams subsided. I took a hot shower, but was extremely stiff; I coud barely move my head. So I went to the emergency room.

I am not sure what Michael Moore's new movie, SiCKO, says about E.R. visits, but let me illustrate my experience:

* We arrive at 12am. We wait 20 minutes just to register my name and state my condition.

* After about an hour, I see a triage nurse and better explain my condition.

* We wait another hour or two in the waiting room before we are sent back to the E.R.

* A nurse asks me again what's wrong. She doesn't say much other than that the MRI machine only works during the day time hours. She disappear and doesn't come back. We wait for another hour.

* Suddenly, out of nowhere, comes a doctor. An actual M.D. She begins asking me very pointed questions. She is knowledgable, a trait that my primary care doctor certainly does not share. She offers many possibilities of what may have happened, and gives me a slew of strategies of making sure this doesn't happen again: Oxycodone and muscle relaxants are involved. Let me tell you: muscle relaxants are AWESOME.

* It's 5am. At this time, we leave the E.R.

Why did this take so long? Who knows. The wait was unbearable.

I noticed that there were at least three doctors back there. Maybe it's a staffing issue. I can't really fault the staff; they do what they can do.

Anyway, I am whole again. I am changing primary care doctors and will begin going to physical therapy.

The Fine Art of Chillaxin'

2007-07-24T07:21:00.001-05:00

We went to Gunpowder Falls State Park last Saturday and met up with some friends. It was a truly gorgeous day: no humidity, breezy, sunny, low 80s, and the lazy river made the entire setting pristine (except for a couple of very annoying dogs). Above is Ed making some rather large bubbles. All we did was relax, drank some beers, went tubing down the river and laughed. That is the Fine Art of Chillaxin'...

Note to Self: If we're ever in Gaza, don't let Julieana watch the children's show "Tomorrow's Pioneers"

2007-07-17T07:08:00.001-05:00

A "Mickey Mouse-like character named Farfur who spouted anti-Israeli and anti-Jewish nostrums at children"..."was beaten to death by an Israeli who wanted his land on the previous episode of the children’s show “Tomorrow’s Pioneers.” "

Holy crap, that's not educational at all...

China Makes a "W" Sign with the Fingers and Says "Whateva!..."

2007-07-16T11:06:00.000-05:00

According to CNN, seven U.S. meat producers have been banned in China after Chinese inspectors found contaminated products, such as chicken. You will remember that the U.S. government has banned certain Chinese imported meat products.

Note to the U.S. government: make sure the companies that rely on your support practice what you preach.

Oh, wait: the mass production of chicken tenders, ground beef, and insert-any-body-parts-inside-an-edible-sleeve-for-consumption-with-ketchup-and-mustard relies on the lackadaisical, laissez-faire attitude of the government. And this hands-off policy certainly leads to much higher levels and more instances of cross-contamination.

OK.

Carry on with your hypocritical bad selves...

Capitalism, Or Fun With Commodities!

2007-07-13T13:04:00.000-05:00

In Das Kapital, Marx highlighted what's called the "expanded" form of a particular commodity's value:

Example:
z Commodity "A" = u Commodity "B" or = v Commodity "C" or = w Commodity "D" or = g Commodity "E" or = etc.
(20 yards of linen = 1 coat or = 10 lbs tea or = 40 lbs. coffee or = 2 ounces gold or = etc.)

Or, as real estate speculators in New York City now prove, a $225,000 house almost anywhere in the country = a parking space, in Manhattan.

From the article (with my emphasis in bold):

Cynthia Habberstad is at the top of that list. She chose not to buy a spot when they were selling for $165,000, but changed her mind only to learn that all the spaces had been taken...

She and her three children, ages 7, 9 and 11, live on Long Island, but the children’s modeling schedules bring them into the city at least twice a week, and the apartment they bought in the building will be a pied-à-terre.

“If we’re coming in late from dinner or we have a lot of stuff in the car, do we really want to have to walk a few blocks to get home?” Ms. Habberstad said. “It all makes sense now that I don’t have it.

If you're that desperate to spend your money and that lazy to walk a few blocks, you had better go see a cardiologist, check your blood pressure, and take yoga. Life is too short to be worrying about shit like this.

Deer in Headlights

2007-07-11T12:39:00.001-05:00

Get the Lead Out

2007-07-10T09:43:00.000-05:00

The Washington Post's Science section had a great article about lead exposure and the statistically significant correlation it has with increased criminal activity. A Fairfax, VA economist now claims that lead abatement and removal starting in the 1960s was the main reason why crime in New York plummeted in the 1990s - not Rudy Giuliani's "Broken Windows" theory of policing crime: arrest street-side window washers, panhandlers, and petty crooks.

It's an elegant argument, and one that it more empirically rigorous than the notion that the legalization of abortion led to decreased crime (why didn't this happen in Britain and other European countries?). It also shows that many urban areas with the most crime suffered twice as much as other areas: lead abatement rarely was conducted (or done so last) in poorer, urban areas, and later the Giuliani "broken window" campaign targeted these residents specifically.

My Brain Hurts

2007-07-02T21:24:00.001-05:00

"Synergy" makes Baby Jesus cry.

Marching Toward Regress

2007-06-28T14:14:00.000-05:00

The near-eradication of Brown vs. Board of Education: ✔

Curbing students' free speech: ✔

Relying on ignorant rhetoric instead of reason and reality: ✔

Reinforcing the binds between Church and State: ✔

Disenfranchising workers: ✔

Empowering Corporate America (even more): ✔

Soon, it's going to be 1953 all over again!

Golly!

Thanks, Supreme Court!

Perspective

2007-06-26T11:14:00.001-05:00

In the last few weeks, more Shiite killed more Sunni, more Palestinians were killed by Jews, Hamas and Fatah killed each other some more, some Whites hated some Blacks, some Blacks hated some Whites, and fundamentalists killed many seculars and non-seculars alike.

It's really all so . . . tragic. Not just because of lives lost, but also because all of this is based largely on differentiating themselves from the "Other." You're different . . . BANG!

Nevermind that biologically we're all alike. We all have the same ancestor. I heard a blurb about the Human Genome Project on today's Writer's Almanac: that everyone on Earth - all 6 billion of us - can trace our ancestor back 7,000 generations.

Here's a USA Today article from last year:

" "Had you entered any village on Earth in around 3,000 B.C., the first person you would have met would probably be your ancestor," statistician Jotun Hein of England's Oxford University marveled.

It also means that all of us have ancestors of every color and creed. Every Palestinian suicide bomber has Jews in his past. Every Sunni Muslim in Iraq is descended from at least one Shiite. And every Klansman's family has African roots."

Many cultures pride themselves in honoring their ancestors. Let's practice what we preach.

Barcelona

2007-06-19T08:28:00.001-05:00

I am so tired of half-assed American political leadership. I have never felt so politically disenfranchised in my life. Or rather, I have never felt so utterly tired of America. Of course, I lay blame all of this on Bush and his cronies. Terrorism - the spread of Al-Qaedaesque terrorist organizations - has expanded in a seemingly exponential fashion since Georgie went into town (Iraq) blazin' away like some third-rate Hollywood cowboy. Moron.

This is all so depressing.

I sometimes feel like taking m'ladies and hunkering how into a bunker.

By "bunker" I mean Barcelona, however. Or some other city - large or small - along the Spanish Mediterranean coast.

Maybe I should sell my house, pay off some debt, and take the rest of the equity to pay for a modest apartment in the Andalucían coast. I know Carolina would love that.

The San Joaquin Valley Library System

2007-06-18T14:40:00.000-05:00

I just checked Google Analytics (which helps me track my blog). Kudos to Fresno for being a dedicated ALT-[frames] Head.

As a present, here is a giant shark coming out of a building.

File Under: "I Saw This Coming a Mile Away"

2007-06-14T12:44:00.000-05:00

Most people who read my blog - the regulars - are pretty liberal. Even a Republican friend of mine (Jimbo!) is pretty liberal on lots of topics; he may choose the word "rational," however.

So, for most of us, the FBI's recent admittal to breaking the law regarding privacy concerns should not come as a surprise. There have been thousands of instances where agents used the nefarious National Security Letter, a post-9/11 intelligence-gathering tool, to find out people's credit, telephone conversations, etc. I distinctly remember the FBI stating months ago that they would make sure that this procedure would not be "over-used." Ha! Yeah, right. Well, guess what? They sure over-used it, alright.

Allan, aka "Bury my thoughts in the pixellated thought-hole," posted something interesting today. It's called "Get Grandpa's FBI File." Check it out, especially those of you who have a longer history here in the States than us children of recent immigrants.

On Paris Hilton, "Celebrity Justice," and Irony

2007-06-13T11:57:00.000-05:00

Lots of people have complained about the special treatment given to Paris Hilton, thanks to the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department. Before being sent to jail, Paris seemed resigned to the fact that she would have to spend 23 days in a cell:

"I'm really scared but I'm ready to do this. And I hope that I'm an example to other young people."

She presumably meant taking responsibility for your own actions or misdeeds, not actually going to jail.

There was a great September 2000 article in Vanity Fair about the young Hilton sisters, Kathy their goofy misguided mother, and the general sense of Club Kid malaise that permerates their lives. In the story there was a particularly fascinating and ironic scene about "celebrity justice."

"Well, just because you're a celebrity doesn't mean you shouldn't get in trouble if you do something," Paris says.

Nicky laughs.

"Oh, yeah, celebrities think that all the time," Kathy says quickly.

"You keep interrupting me," Paris tells her mother.

There's a long silence.

Nicky laughs again, dryly and somewhat mysteriously.

"There are some people, I guess," continues Paris, "who feel they can get away with anything—"

"This is just so ironic," scoffs Nicky.

Kathy giggles nervously. "We were having this conversation last night," she says.

No one says anything for a while. The silence is deafening.

I say, "Your eyes are so blue, Paris."

"Yeah," says Paris. "They're contacts."

Nicky says, "Mine are real."

I think it's quite telling that, when the judge re-ordered her back in jail after being prematuely released by the Sheriff, Paris shrieked the following:

"It's not right! . . . Mom!"

To quote Nicky Hilton: This is just so ironic.

Dear Hamas & Fatah. . .

2007-06-13T09:05:00.001-05:00

Dear Hamas & Fatah:

Fucking chill out.

Love,
Dan

The Onion pretty much says what's on my mind.

2007-06-12T11:30:00.001-05:00

Joe Lieberman is a raving lunatic. I mean - we all knew this.

It was only a matter of time before he would stop self-medicating and utter sheer nonsense.

Check out today's American Voices to see what I mean.

This is what you get when you surround yourself with religious fundamentalist policy makers and brown-nosers who think they know the law...

2007-06-11T13:32:00.000-05:00

You get bitch-slapped by the U.S. Court of Appeals.

Ohhhh, daaaaaamn.

I laugh now at this Administration's flaccid legal maneuvering.

UDPATE!!!!

I just found out that the defendent has a horrid mullet.

Hang his ass!!!!

"If you gave Falwell an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox"

2007-06-06T11:50:00.000-05:00

Except for the entire Iraq War garbage, I agree with Christopher Hitchens on most issues (especially issues of religion and governance).

Sean Hannity got an honorary degree from Falwell's Liberty University. Seeing him spar with an Oxford-trained expert on the English language makes me laugh.

Hitchens' last barb at Jerry Falwell was "If you gave [him] an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox." So true.

Hitchens is an ass, but a lovable one.

Good lunch-time fun.

"Number, please."

2007-06-01T14:20:00.000-05:00

I love this.

The link - provided by the Porticus Centre - is from an old audio clip from an episode of Dragnet, c. 1949. The show did not edit out the actual connection of the call - almost two whole minutes of connecting the AT&T/Bell long lines from who-knows-where to Murphy, Idaho.

In this day and age of instantaneous communication, where time space is irrelevant, where one can not only hear the blah-blah chatter of others, but also is able to read various mindless (if innocent enough) inanities like "LOL" or "ur my BFF!!11" or "KOKO BAAATAH!11," we often forget how involved telephony once was.

Introducing "IKEA Anna"

2007-05-31T20:48:00.000-05:00

IKEA's online help is pretty lame. All I wanted to know was whether or not their EKTORP sofa came in dark brown leather. "BAS" and MJUK" doesn't tell me much.

So I got online and found their Anna-bot. She didn't adequately answer my initial question, so I thought I'd bring up old news regarding IKEA and NAZIs.

Lou Dobbs is a Racist Jerk (Part 9,839)

2007-05-30T13:43:00.001-05:00

I have blogged about this racist a-hole elsewhere. He conveniently forgets about the classical neo-liberal economics which he pushed and peddled in the 1980s. This did a lot more overall harm to the middle class than illegal Mexicans slaving away in some Colorado slaughterhouse.

Anyway, the New York Times has a sharp critique of Dobbs' half-assed logic and his quasi-journalistic endeavors which are well-steeped in the realm of the inane.

Pro-immigrant bitch slap, OH SNAP!

2007-05-25T11:57:00.000-05:00

That populist CNN asshat, Lou Dobbs, loves to tout the "security" of the borders as THE issue on the minds of the American public. Reactionary elements in Congress and on the airwaves bitch and moan and complain about how the U.S. is somehow a bastardized version of what it once was (supposedly whiter? more German? more Italian? more English?). Listening to these cretins talk, one would think that they are tapping basic U.S. sentiment regarding illegal immigration:

"No more immigration!"

"An illegal immigrant is a criminal"

And so on, and so forth.

It's nice to see that the New York Times published an interesting article on how rational and supportive we Americans really are when it comes to immigration.

Here are some of the questions:

"Do you favor a guest worker program?"
66% say YES.

"What should happen to illegal immigrants who have been in the U.S. for at least two years?"
62% say SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO APPLY FOR LEGAL STATUS

In a nationwide survey, people realize that immigrants who come over without documentation, are NOT criminals, and are not coming to become criminals. That is a silly racist straw man that reactionaries love to use.

Rational people realize that illegal immigration is not going to stop, and that by building walls and alienating them even more will simply drive many of them farther into an already worrisome underclass.

RE: the job I applied for

2007-05-21T14:32:00.000-05:00

I didn't get it.

It's OK.

I will survive.

I am now applying for a Social Science Analyst position at the Department of Justice. It's in the Civil Rights Division. I figure the sane ones at Justice are there, and not in the Office of the Attorney General. The cool thing is that it's right downtown, by the National Mall and the Capitol (see image above).

Oh, and by "sane ones" I mean those who aren't reactionary fundamentalist Bible-thumping fascists.

Carolina: HOT, Lindsay Lohan: NOT

2007-05-15T15:02:00.000-05:00

MAXIM's Hot 100 List is out.

So, Lindsay Lohan is the hottest woman, huh?

I thought she was an anorexic chain-smoking wraith. I mean: decomposing deer corpses have more meat on their bones.

But hey: if that's what MAXIM editors are into, I can't really criticize them.

To each his own, right?

Here's mine:

Take THAT, Hot 100 List!

Published!

2007-05-09T07:13:00.000-05:00

"Modern Moai"
1/1250, f/5.6, ISO 100

That was my entry for JPG Magazine. Well, I just got word that it will be published in Issue 10, coming out soon. I get $100, a year's subscription to JPG Magazine, and a $100 Suicide Girls gift certificate. I checked out their merch and it's all crap. Maybe I can buy 10 pairs of boy shorts for Carolina.

I'm pretty happy. It's been a good week so far.

I have been tagged

2007-05-02T13:59:00.000-05:00

Walt tagged me.

a) My five obsessions

Polishing a 29 million record-long turd via SAS
Trying to build and configure UNIX software called UFRaw on my Mac
Photography and other bullshit (har.)
Kissing my bebeh's dimpled hands
Cursing the gas mileage on my 1993 Buick Century with one hubcap missing

b) five reasons why I blog

Attention whoring

c) i’ll tag a few people if interested:

Porcupine

Allan

Kitty

Happy Mission Accomplished Day!

2007-05-01T10:26:00.000-05:00

Mission "Accomplished." Most of us who have working synapses could see right through Bush's pathetic attempt at self-glory that day. Check out this interesting article in Editor & Publisher on how the New York Times covered that episode and the subsequent aftermath.

Convergence

2007-04-26T08:48:00.000-05:00

Condoleezza Rice with heavy make-up, c. 2007

Michael Jackson with heavy make-up, c. 1983

Entourage

2007-04-26T07:56:00.000-05:00

Today I read in Page Six that Tobey Maguire travels with an entourage of ten people, plus a personal chef.

Page Six states that part of this entourage includes his fiancee and their daughter, and also two cases of bottled water, a rocking chair, and a full-sized refrigerator. So really, it's an entourage of eight with a bunch of crap. I would say that's perfectly acceptable and a somewhat modest number for glitzy Hollywood.

Except for the fridge though: that's just weird.

Happy Birthday, Love!

2007-04-24T12:06:00.000-05:00

Today Carolina is 29 years-old.

And I love her more than ever.

Oops! ... I didn't do it.

2007-04-20T17:56:00.000-05:00

Oh, WOW!

This is HUGE! Do you know how HARD we at the Census Bureau try to keep sensitive information from being leaked out to the public? After all, that is our charge: maintaining your privacy intact. Otherwise, why give us your information for the Decennial Census?

I guarantee you that I will hear of this on Monday. I have been working on a program to remove any vestiges of personal information from our corporate address database (phone numbers, Social Security numbers, proper names, etc.). You see, VARCHAR2 fields are nasty things. These are columns in a database in which anything can be placed in the cell. When our Field Enumerators ask you for your phone number (something he should NOT do), he may place it in the throwaway "Location Description" or Comments column (either on the paper form or the digital hand-held/laptop device). 99.9% of this stuff is automated once the information is keyed, and we don't know - can't know - of what came from the field until much later.

But at least it's in our corporate database, something that cannot be accessed by the general public. However, when other agencies use our data, they MUST follow our own privacy laws. Putting this shit on the Internet is so incredibly stupid, and we at the Census end up looking like complete jackasses. Plus, it makes the Federal Government look like some efficient totalitarian/Orwellian enterprise when - trust me - it's really not that smart. The Federal Government is not Big Brother. It's more like Lenny, from Of Mice and Men.

Yeah, well anyway: Monday is gonna suck.

Spider-Man, Gluttony, and ": The Musical!"

2007-04-19T20:21:00.000-05:00

It was bound to happen, wasn't it?

From progressive comic (combining the Superhero aesthetic with humor) to over-done (if entertaining) film(s).

But now...now this is just pathetic.

The know-nothing, creatively lazy asshats of Hollywood and the gluttonous Marvel executives will add the dreaded words ": The Muscial!" to Spider-Man.

Truth be told: I am not a comic book fan, and really could care less that this particular comic will be re-interpreted, yet again. What bugs me is the sheer laziness of those who manage an industry which has the potential to produce something new, something different, something dazzling and fresh.

The Third Circle of Dante's Inferno is reserved for the gluttonous hordes, forever feeding upon their own excrement.

May the Marvel scrubs end up there for filling their bellies with the profits from inane renditions of each and every comic in their catalog (and reducing themselves to "The Musical!" mentality).

* Jazz Hands! *

Time for Gun Control

2007-04-16T19:49:00.000-05:00

As of this writing, 33 people lay dead by a lone (?) gunman. I am sure for obstinate Second Amendment cheerleaders, clearly this isn't enough reason to do anything about rampant gun violence. For the rest of the country which favors Reason over archaic legal statutes which now border on the non sequitur, the time is now for a truly progressive set of gun control laws.

A Checklist for a Scorned Female Astronaut

2007-04-11T07:15:00.000-05:00

1. Adult diapers: ✔

2. Pepper spray: ✔

3. B.B. gun: ✔

4. Steel mallet: ✔

5. Knife: ✔

6. Rubber tubing: ✔

7. Cash in U.S. and British currency: ✔

8. 69 orange pills: ✔

9. Two USB drives: ✔

and last, but certainly not least,

10. Sixteen images depicting various scenes of bondage: ✔

I really don't know why I insist on checking out CNN. Their stories - like this one - make my brain hurt. They're like skid-marked underwear blowing in the breeze.

The Art of Automated Parking with Calvin Trillin

2007-04-10T14:00:00.000-05:00

Would you like to know how much of a nerd I really am?

The New York Times took The Nation's self-described verse columnist, Calvin Trillin, out on the town to test-drive the self-parking mechanism in the new Lexus.

To me, this is laugh out loud funny. See the video here.

Must . . . Get . . . Ahead . . .

2007-04-06T15:16:00.000-05:00

I have a pretty good job (geographer), at a pretty cool place (The U.S. Census Bureau), but something is missing. Maybe it's the need for a little bit more money, maybe it's the need, the drive to improve myself professionally.

The worst part of my job is that I feel like I am quickly making myself irrelevant. Really, just how marketable is a subject-matter expert on the intricacies of Puerto Rican addressing systems? Is this even geography? The answers to both questions are, "Not Very" and "No." Even these two issues aren't really issues at all, but since my employer refuses to pay for even nominal training on professional advancement (say, Project Management courses), I feel very much like I am a cog in an overly-complicated machine.

I work as a GS-12, but I do the work of a GS-13 here at the Census Bureau. For those of you who don't know, a GS-12 is essentially the highest rank a Federal employee can be before hitting the supervisory GS-13 levels. I have managed projects, I have appealed for (and gotten) higher budgets, I will be over-seeing a team to evaluate commercial off-the-shelf software: all highly visible tasks (Upper Management has noticed).

Yet, they don't even throw me a Project Management bone. I could sure use that Project Management certificate/degree. Oh, wait...that makes me more marketable elsewhere in the Geography Division, or elsewhere period.

So, long story short: a GS-13 position has opened up and I have been writing like crazy, trying to get my knowledge skill-sets all written before the close of business on Monday.

Wish me luck.

Shit. I wish myself luck. I'll need it.

Tryin' to get ahead, tryin', tryin',
Tryin' to get ahead in this race called life . . .

Oh, hell. I'd rather relax, but relaxin' ain't gonna pay the bills, son.

More Religious Zealotry, YAY!

2007-04-03T07:25:00.000-05:00

Religious hysteria. Why do zealots insist on jumping to conclusions or reducing themselves to jiggling mounds of hyperbole when someone else reinterprets an aspect of their faith?

A few years ago it was Chris Ofili's use of elephant dung in a painting of the Virgin Mary. Catholics cried foul and felt as if they were being demeaned and belittled, even though Ofili's use of dung pre-dated the Virgin Mary scandal (thereby negating the Catholics' contention that he intentionally meant to offend them).

Now it is a controversial exhibit of Christ sculpted in milk chocolate. Because of Cardinal Edward Egan's incessant howling, the Lab Gallery in Manhattan, where the exhibit was housed, shut down the show and its Art Director stepped down. According to CNN, Egan said that the exhibit was a "sickening display" and Bill Donohue, head of the Catholic League, called it "one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever."

Never mind that the sculptor, Cosimo Cavallaro, is a food artist and incorporates food into each piece. Apparently, mixing milk chocolate and Christ is a no-no. If Donohue's hyperbole is true about it being offensive, then it's right up there with the Moors converting Spain into an caliphate of Damascus.

And don't tell me that the real reason these two Catholics are so offended is because Christ is nude. If Cavallaro had put a Marshmallow Fluff loincloth on him, they would still have cried blasphemy.

If you ask me, the most offensive aspect of this entire "scandal" is Cavallaro's use of milk chocolate. That shit is just nasty. I am all about dark chocolate.

Religious Iconography in the New York Times

2007-04-02T09:26:00.000-05:00

Am I the only one who sees a clear relgious element to this photograph? Maybe it's just me. Even though I am a flaming skeptic and naysayer of all things "godly," I do love relgious iconography (see here and here and here and here and here and here).

I don't know. I see this in the New York Times:

And I am reminded of something similar to this:

The Intersection of the Fleeting and the Permanent

2007-03-29T19:23:00.000-05:00

As we travel throughout the world or the country in which we reside (some of us farther than others), we inevitably end up with tchotchkis. Little knick-knacks. Oftentimes plastic nonsense. Sometimes delectable in their kitschiness. Very often forgettable.

That is why Michael Hughes' recent photographic collection entitled "Souvenirs" makes me at once laugh out loud and swoon.

He managed to combine the plastic hilarity that is instant kitsch along with practical design: melding it to the landscape, to the built environment, to public art. It's as if the definition of fleeting (junk crap) is married to the permanent (the built world around us), if only for a moment.

It's sublime stuff.

Check out his gallery at FILE Magazine.

Breaking Down What $3,000,000,000,000 Really Means

2007-03-29T08:39:00.000-05:00

A three trillion dollar Federal budget: that's what the U.S.A. is running on. Or will run on, according to an interesting story on National Public Radio.

A $3,000,000,000,000 budget.

That's a lot of change.

Imagine that the image above is a pie chart. How much of those dollars are used for what we consider the government, i.e., the "everyday" government? I am talking about services we all know and love, such as transportation, environmental regulation, education, etc.

Look at the image above, and then divide it into four (25% each slice). Now take three of the four slices, then a little more. Eighty percent of the Federal budget is NOT for the typical government services we all think about (like those above):

Social Security, Medicaid and Medicare (about 40%)
Military (about 20%)
Homeland Security, National Security, and veterans' care (about 20%)

The 25% that is left over is still too much to take into account how little we spend on typical government services.

Take one-fourth of the pie, then split it four ways. Of those four pieces, take three. That gives you 18.75%.

In reality, of the projected $3 trillion budget, only 17% will be dedicated to the actual day-to-day functioning of the United States. That's about $510 billion dollars.

Here is a re-worked version of the image above, complete with a simple pie chart.

I don't know about you, but this boggles my mind.

When the Baby Boomers begin to retire en masse, the shit is going to hit the fan.

Tunnel Vision

2007-03-27T06:32:00.000-05:00

Are we going into another dimly lit tunnel?

Iran has captured fifteen British sailors. Supposedly they were in Iranian waters; the Brits and Iraqis contest this. Not surprisingly, it is in Iraq's interest to lay claim to this waterway, also known as the Arvand River by Iran or the Shatt al-Arab by the Iraqis. It is largely because of this that the Iran-Iraq War started, by Iran laying claim to the only waterway that Iraq has to export its goods. After Iran finally took this waterway in 1987, Iraq had to look toward Jordan and Kuwait for help. We all know what soon came afterward: Iraq's nationalistic possession of Kuwait (a convenient way of bypassing the billions of dollars Iraq owed to them).

It's incredible where hyper-emotional geopolitics can lead a country.

Let's Talk Abstinence! . . . Oh, Hell No.

2007-03-23T08:01:00.000-05:00

Promoting abstinence in college is a silly thing. I'm talking about sex, by the way - not from coffee like one of my supervisors is doing for Lent, much to my chagrin (no office coffee pot anymore) .

An AP news item in today's CNN.com talks about two Harvard seniors, Sarah Kinsella and Justin Murray, who are tired of being surrounded with what they deem a hive's nest of sexual activity. This is probably because their holier-than-thou chastity heightens their sensitivity to anything remotely titillating. Their solution was to form True Love Revolution, a group dedicated to including the discussion of abstinence in Harvard health programs.

The group has been roundly criticized for various reasons, and one of the founders has complained that such a diverse and open college community would be so closed-minded toward them. There may be a reason for this criticism.

The Virgin Kinsella says that the University promotes sex by giving out condoms to freshmen, by scheduling "racy" lectures (OH NO, a racy lecture!!!...MUST....HAVE....FILTHY....SEX!!!), and - GET THIS - by not discussing abstinence in the freshman seminar about date rape.

I say again: according to the Virgin, abstinence should be discussed in the seminar about date rape. Last time I checked, rapists don't normally ponder the virtues of abstinence.

The fact of the matter is, the University wants to maintain a clean, healthy environment for its students, and to promote clean, healthy relationships. If you want to have sex, please do so intelligently. Don't get pregnant and don't get a disease, and certainly don't pass on this disease to others. The only way to do this is through adequate contraception, not through recanting Hail Marys or remaining true to your "convictions." Convictions change, often right before the shit hits the fan.

For more skeptical analyses on abstinence programs, go to Penn & Teller's show Bullshit! (Show #49, Seasons Four). Here is a clip from that episode.

The "535"

2007-03-21T10:26:00.000-05:00

President Al Gore (oh, snap!) had a heart-to-heart with Congressional panels today about global warming and the need to respond, in an aggressive manner, to this incoming "planetary emergency."

Now, don't get me wrong: I do believe that global warming exists, and I do think it is - at least partly - the cause of human beings. However, I am a little troubled with the following paragraph in the article:

Evoking the hit movie “300,” about the ancient Spartans’ stand at Thermopylae, Mr. Gore called on Congress to put aside partisan differences, accept the scientific consensus on global warming as unambiguous and become “the 535,” a reference to the total number of members of the Senate and the House of Representatives.

The original 300 were mostly Spartans, and they eventually got wiped out by the Persians. It is interesting to note here that as we prepare for a response to global warming (either passively or aggressively), the Bush Administration is complaining and cawing on about Iran/Persia and their attempts at enriching uranium.

Will the "535" fall to one of the Axes of Evil?

Will Senator Robert Byrd of West Virginia have digitally enhanced abdominal muscles?

Will President Mahmud Ahmadinejad wear glamfabulous jewelry?

These are important questions and must be answered!

What my political platform would be if I were to run for office

2007-03-20T13:24:00.000-05:00

I was reading a recent New York Times article about how the GOP candidates are trying to hone their political platform on immigration. These guys (and Democrats do this, too) tip-toe around the right word or idea, sometimes highlighting the fact that they are more conservative than the other candidate. McCain is an easy target since he co-sponsored a bill with - gasp! - Ted Kennedy. So silly. Why not just be honest?

Consequently, I had a quick chat with my friend Walt (a.k.a., tokydiablo; a.k.a., countertrend), about what our political platform would look like:

[14:22] dr122372: dude if you or i would run for govt office, our platform would be the first of its kind, it terms of unabashed liberalness
[14:22] tokyodiablo: yeah
[14:22] tokyodiablo: more left than chavez?
[14:22] dr122372: hell yes...
[14:22] dr122372: Chavez is populist, really
[14:22] tokyodiablo: govt take over of all mcdonalds and catholic churches
[14:22] tokyodiablo: liberal how?
[14:23] dr122372: you are ctholic
[14:23] tokyodiablo: only gays in the military?
[14:23] dr122372: you cant be trusted with the takeover
[14:23] tokyodiablo: only gay marriage?
[14:23] dr122372: yes only gays
[14:23] tokyodiablo: 99% taxation?
[14:23] dr122372: 89.99
[14:23] dr122372: give em a bone
[14:24] dr122372: citizenship to whomever can walk/swim/run/climb over/fly into country
[14:24] dr122372: JOL
[14:24] dr122372: I am blogging this
[14:24] tokyodiablo: ok
[14:25] tokyodiablo: confiscation of all guns?
[14:25] dr122372: No, not that
[14:25] tokyodiablo: grover norquist declaired enemy combatant with geneva protestions
[14:25] dr122372: i am pro-ownership actually
[14:27] dr122372: You can't have a revolution with essays on post-modernism
[14:27] tokyodiablo: ok
[14:28] dr122372: although talking about Lyotard ad nauseum would kill a million fat-cat capitalists in one fell swoop

Thank You [INSERT DEITY HERE]!

2007-03-18T23:31:00.000-05:00

I'm super happy this evening. Why? Because I managed to salvage all my photos (over 5,000 of them) from my old Apple laptop, the one with the wheezing hard drive. I am still transferring everything over: photos, music, documents, maybe even the DMG file that contained Photoshop CS. It's going to be a long night, but well worth it. The photo above is from Sarah and David's wedding back in Seattle; they're two of our closest friends.

Wait . . . What happened to the Sun and the warmth and joy?

2007-03-16T13:09:00.000-05:00

The last few days have been joyful: warm days, and a sunny disposition throughout. Until the latter half of yesterday, which brought sheer dreariness.

"Today: Windy and much colder with rain. High, 40F/4C."

Damn.

Time to go home and huddle with my bebehs.

"The iRack looks totally unstable!"

2007-03-15T19:12:00.000-05:00

DailyKos has a great link to MadTV's iRack skit. Hee-lair-EEE-us. Check it out.

Disney's Foray into Modernity

2007-03-15T09:25:00.000-05:00

What do Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella all have in common?

Well, they're White, of course.

For close to a century, the Disney Company has promoted European ideals of beauty: usually blond, sometimes not, but always white. Even as our own ideals of equality have nurtured, matured and become more true to society, Disney kept churning out the milquetoast. Even Ariel, half of a friggin' fish, was a pale redhead!

I read a short little story today about how Disney has finally discovered Modernity and will have a black princess as the lead in one of its animated movies. Good for them. Now I only hope that maybe one day young black youth will stop believing bullshit ideals of beauty.

Spring Has Sprung (Until this Saturday)

2007-03-15T06:49:00.000-05:00

Warm(er) days and the breaking of the figurative ice is what makes me love Spring. Sure, it's going to dip into the 30's ocne again this Saturday (wreaking havoc on those Cherry Blossoms in D.C.), but I don't care. The fact of the matter is, this Winter has been unseasonably warm; we had a spell of cold wintry days, but overall, it's been warmer than it should have been.

Lilacs will soon be blooming, Spring breezes and the smell of earth will permeate all around us again.